Jon Reisman

I had nine days and four-plus hours to fill waiting for Shenna et al. to count the votes in the Ranked Choice Voting (RCV) circus/clown show. It was Maine’s audition for coveted Blue Banana Republic status. Janet, the left, the Maine People’s Alliance, and the 40% of Democrats who are ashamed of our country should be so proud. I wonder how much of the delay should be attributed to educational malpractice emphasizing social and emotional learning and progressive indoctrination over math and critical thinking.

Here are the rankled choices I made while awaiting electoral enlightenment from my progressive betters:

• I reacquainted myself with Vladimir and Estragon from Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. I first met Vlad et al some 50+ years ago as a high school senior taking a course on the Theatre of the Absurd and existentialism. It seemed totally appropriate for the RCV moment, and I’m pretty sure Vladimir and Estragon would be Platner voters if they ever left the cover of their tree encampment, which eerily reminded me of the homeless needle and trash-filled embarrassment by the railroad tracks and Penobscot River in Bangor.

• I also revisited George Orwell’s Politics and the English Language. The acrobatic abuse of the English language for political narrative propaganda purposes has reached new highs (and lows) from both the left and the right (see “gestating parent” as opposed to woman/female/mother). Nothing that Platner or Trump says should be taken literally or at face value. My high school English teacher, Dr. Frankel, gave me a lasting graduation gift when he steered me through both Orwell and Beckett.

• My warped brain contemplated and worked on aspects of our political divisions. This election will be very divisive along both generational and gender lines. Men are breaking Republican and against Platner, while women are just the opposite. Younger voters are drawn to Platner and socialism, while most of their baby boomer parents and grandparents remember the Cold War, and not fondly. One particular demographic group has been identified as Platner’s base — Affluent White Female Liberals, or AWFLs. I recommend amending the acronym to GODAWFLs, standing for Graying Old Demagogic Affluent White Female Liberals. We have a lot of them in Maine, especially in the 1st Congressional District. They also go by the nickname “Karen,” but as my late wife’s best friend and our maid of honor is also named Karen, I’ll stick to GODAWFLs.

• I tilled the garden twice. Peas are flowering, and lettuce, spinach, carrots, cukes, and tomato seedlings are promising. Greenhouse gas emissions are good for greens of the plant variety, while providing political lucre and fuel for greens of the human political variety.

• I mowed the lawn once. The lawn, riding mower, and attached garage are all disturbing evidence of advanced bougie syndrome (ABS).

• I enjoyed (indeed basked in) several ABS star and firefly lit hot tub soaks. Our dark Downeast skies are a gift, ABS or not. Watching meteor showers, planes, and satellites beats political ads hands down. It certainly leaves a cleaner and better aftertaste. Thank you, Mr. Orwell.

Jon Reisman is an economist and policy analyst who retired from the University of Maine at Machias after 38 years. He resides on Cathance Lake in Cooper, where he is a Statler and Waldorf intern. Mr. Reisman’s views are his own, and he welcomes comments as letters to the editor here or to him directly via email at jreisman@maine.edu.